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What's 'Constructive Communication'? by Cary Valentine, MSOD

In university class I teach on business communication, I have my students watch a video vignette wherein a manager is meeting with one of their salespeople to address their poor production numbers as of late.

Before the conversation starts, the manager presumes that the salesperson has an "attitude problem" and unwilling to correct her performance deficit. The manager then, more or less, 'threatens' the salesperson that she'll lose her job if her numbers don't reach a certain plateau of achievement within 90 days.

In response, the salesperson explains to her manager that she'd been ill for a few months and that's why she'd been unable to improve her production. She assures the manager that now she's "feeling better" and expects that she'll come in with better numbers in the coming months.

They, together, agree to reevaluate her performance in 90 days.

Two months later she comes back to meet with her manager now obviously pregnant.

In fact, her illness spoken of in the prior months was due to mourning sickness. She'd been pregnant all along but didn't tell her manager because prior experience had led her to believe that admitting she was pregnant would for sure, cost her her job or at least a reduction in responsibility, status, and subsequent income.

Now, legally, the manager couldn't ask her about whether or not she was pregnant or handicapped due to any other medical or mental condition. In turn, the salesperson was responding with a justified fear since women have suffered much discrimination in the workplace due to maternal issues and other. It's quite reasonable then, that a pregnant woman would be in fear of such treatment be it 'legal' or not.

However, could all of these wrong assumptions/presumptions be avoided with proper respect still being shown for the law and the salesperson's privacy?

You may say "no" here but that doesn't get you out of having to deal with the situation when confronted with it in the workplace or elsewhere. Of course, you could avoid it - act as if the problem doesn't exist - but that just perpetuates itself into a bigger problem you'll confront again, and again, and again, etc...

This is a common issue in the workplace; people not having enough information to perceive things properly yet not having the skill or latitude legally or diplomatically to find out ALL the facts of a situation prior to taking action. Before you know it, we're playing a 'shell game' of sorts -- using political-like agenda and stealth forms of innuendo to get variables revealed and problems solved.

So, returning to our outlined vignette of the salesperson with declining production and the manager trying to eliminate the performance deficit, what are some of the assumptions that have been made here by the parties but never fully-validated as being fact or fiction?

The salesperson/employee must be unwilling to improve her performance
The manager will demote the salesperson if she admits to being pregnant
The employee didn't come forth with the truth about our condition but then again, she didn't have to according to the law. Will this make the manager wonder in the future if their getting the unfiltered truth from the employee if a future performance gap resurfaces?
Other???

So… my question to you is this:

How can managers and employees create an environment that causes people to want to tell you all the facts that effect their choices, actions, reactions, performance, etc. without having to dredge through a bunch of surface perceptions and unreliable assumptions/presumptions to get the actual variables necessary to solve a problem?

To help you answer, consider the model outlined below:

If we assume someone has a bad attitude, we tend to process or presuppose the following in our communicative approach:

Common Perception: Employee is unwilling to improve performance or change behavior. In other words; they're able but unwilling to change.
Action/Assumption: Your tone tends to become more punitive because you sense that the employee is defying you or unwilling to make the effort to improve.
Consequences: If the employee doesn't shape up and change their behavior, you'll have to start progressing through the company’s disciplinary policy.
Problems: What if you perceive things wrong? How do you communicate to get your assumptions validated or invalidated so you can make the right choice now and later?

If we assume someone has a lack of skill or resources to perform, we tend to process or presuppose the following in our communicative approach:

Common Perception: The employee is lacking a necessary skill set, tool, or resource to improve performance or change behavior. In other words; they're willing but unable to change.
Action/Assumption: Your tone tends to be more helpful or "mentoring" because you sense that the employee isn't capable of improving their performance at their current state of competence.
Consequences: If employee doesn't have the skills or tools to do the job, you'll seek to assist them in developing the skills or obtain tools necessary to improve performance.
Problems: What if you perceive things wrong? How do you communicate to get your assumptions validated or invalidated so you can make the right choice now and later?

Remember, constructive communication builds-up and doesn't tear down. Deploying the rationale that you must tear down to build-up is common in military or athletic settings but doesn't seem to work in the larger context of civilian life. In fact, it usually sabotages managers who use it in the private sector.

When you assume you know someone's motive in a statement or observed act and then you in turn, act on that assumption, you're likely to fail to communicate constructively, playing a guessing or "shell" games most of the time, and stumble more than develop your team.

Yea... it's a raw deal I know - having to 'pry-out' the facts of situations and do so tactfully yet directly - but if you can get really good at testing your perceptions and subsequent assumptions in your communicative dialogue especially in the workplace with all the legal constraints and pressure to budget personnel and money, you'll go far.

Drop me a line sometime and tell me what you think.

--- Cary Valentine

CVS Training & Development is recognized throughout the mortgage industry as the top mortgage loan officer school or loan originator school and mortgage loan broker training organization in the country. We provide loan officer and mortgage broker training for individuals at every level of the mortgage industry including internal human resource consulting services for medium to large mortgage operations. Our mortgage retail workshop "Fast-Start" courses are presented in major cities in multiple states all year long. In addition, our course catalog section offers a variety of materials, including self-study courses, marketing and management kits, and guides to specific mortgage market niches. Our mortgage broker training courses and products enhance the success of our student's mortgage careers and separate our graduates from all of their competition!

CVS Training & Development's Loan Officer Training School offers loan officer license training, career placement assistance, state approved continuing education and mortgage industry support education to aspiring and seasoned mortgage loan originators nationwide. Our low tuition and exclusive approach to "street underwriting" creates successful and rewarded mortgage professionals who know how to do more than just complete a loan application and talk about a few loan programs. We teach loan officers to excel in ways they never thought possible. Our instructors have trained tens of thousands of loan officers for the nations largest mortgage wholesale and retail mortgage brokers & bankers. This same training is now available to you at our live event classes and via online study courses. Our classes and products are consistently rated as the most innovative and detailed studies of the modern "learning mortgage organization."

Who Is This 'Cary Valentine' Guy?
As stated above, CVS was started by Cary Valentine; a long-time government / conventional underwriter and high-volume originator with over 20 years in the retail mortgage profession. Cary started, operated and sold his own successful mortgage banking firm to a Midwestern bank holding company in the late 1990's. He has consulted and/or co-written articles on the subject of mortgage redlining in nationally, syndicated periodicals. Cary is considered by many mortgage industry insiders to be the best, pure live professional mortgage trainer in the US today. Cary's live training event's are dynamic and full of powerful technical secrets that make loan officers and other mortgage originators come back again and again. It is the mission of CVS to provide aspiring mortgage origination retail and wholesale professionals that have entered the business without the benefit of proper mortgage industry training, with the opportunity to accelerate their education and success in the mortgage industry and continually, renew and enhance their skills for years to come. E-mail us at: admin@caryvalentine.com or you can call Cary direct at 816-985-2437 to learn more about how we can empower you beyond others.

Online Training - Live Classes - About Us - Contact Us

Bottom line, CVS is a multi-state approved provider of mortgage loan originator continuing education in several states. Below is a listing of our upcoming 2006 live and /or online loan originator / mortgage broker course offerings for state approved mortgage broker and individual loan originator continuing education (Also See: CVS Site Terms of Use - CVS Privacy Policy):

CVS CONTACT INFO: admin@caryvalentine.com

Phone: 816-985-2437

Kansas City, MO. USA

2007 Continuing Education Classes:

Predatory Lending Defined (6 HRS), ABC's of Appraisal Underwriting (6HRS), The Facts About FACTA (6 HRS), Credit Scoring (4 HRS), Real Estate Continuing ED (4HRS), Free FHA Training Course Online (0 HRS), Predatory Lending Defined Online (6 HRS), ABC's of Appraisal Underwriting Online (6HRS), The Facts About FACTA Online (6 HRS), Credit Scoring Online (4 HRS), Loan Originator Training, Loan Processor Training, Loan Underwriter Training, Wholesale Account Exec Training, Loan Warehouse Line Consulting, Mortgage Compliance Consulting

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Oklahoma (Cities: Norman, Oklahoma City, Tulsa)

Loan Officer Training, Loan Originator Training, Mortgage Broker Training, Online Mortgage Broker Training, Continuing Education, Online Continuing Education, Loan Officer Classes, Realtor Training, Real Estate Broker Training, Real Estate Classes, Real Estate Finance Training, Loan Officer Training School, Mortgage Training Classes, Mortgage Continuing Education, Underwriting Classes, Online Loan Processing Classes, Online FHA Processing Classes, Mortgage Broker Classes, Loan Originator Classes, Online Mortgage Classes, Realtor Continuing Education School, Real Estate Broker School, Real Estate Finance School, Loan Officer School, Loan Officer School, Loan Officer Continuing Education, Online Loan Originator Schools, Online Loan Processor School, Mortgage Loan Officer Training, Loan Originator School, Loan Officer Mortgage Training, Mortgage Broker School, Loan Originator Education, Online Loan Originator Training, FHA Loan Originator Training, FHA Loan Processing School, Government Loan Processing School, VA Mortgage Loan Processing School & Mortgage Net Branch Opportunities

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Who Is This 'Cary Valentine' Guy?

As stated above, CVS was started by Cary Valentine; a long-time government / conventional underwriter and high-volume originator with over 20 years in the retail mortgage profession. Cary started, operated and sold his own successful mortgage banking firm to a Midwestern bank holding company in the late 1990's. He has consulted and/or co-written articles on the subject of mortgage redlining in nationally, syndicated periodicals. Cary is considered by many mortgage industry insiders to be the best, pure live professional mortgage trainer in the US today. Cary's live training event's are dynamic and full of powerful technical secrets that make loan officers and other mortgage originators come back again and again. It is the mission of CVS to provide aspiring mortgage origination retail and wholesale professionals that have entered the business without the benefit of proper mortgage industry training, with the opportunity to accelerate their education and success in the mortgage industry and continually, renew and enhance their skills for years to come. E-mail us at: admin@caryvalentine.com or you can call Cary direct at 816-985-2437 to learn more about how we can empower you beyond others.

(Also See: CVS Site Terms of Use - CVS Privacy Policy):

E-mail us at: admin@caryvalentine.com or call us soon, course sizes are limited and they fill quickly. (816-985-2437)

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